The Purpose of Reading

As I mentioned in my previous post, I love books and I love to read. I love getting new books and reading through them in my excitement so that I can move on to the next one. For some reason I just get a major sense of accomplishment when I finish a book that I've been reading for days, weeks, or months. To finally read that last page and with a deep breath close the book gives me a sense that my little world is complete. But St. Theophan the Recluse gives very specific instructions about reading that I believe it would behoove all of us to follow.

First he says that when we read spiritual books we ought to read slowly and carefully, applying what we read to our lives. The purpose of our reading is not to satisfy curiosity, but for inner transformation, conversion of heart. Here's what Theophan says:

You have a book? Then read it, reflect on what it says, and apply the words to yourself. To apply the content to oneself is the purpose and fruit of reading. If you read without applying what is read to yourself, nothing good will come of it, and even harm may result. Theories will accumulate in the head, leading you to criticize others instead of improving your own life. So have ears and hear. (Art of Prayer page 130)


Here what Theophan is describing is what many Western Christians would call "Lectio Divina." Although the phrase Lecio Divina is most typically applied to a slow, meditative, deliberate, and careful reading of the Scriptures, it can really be applied to the reading of any spiritual text. Fr. Robert Taft, S.J., one of the world's leading historians of the Byzantine Liturgy, recommends in his wonderful little book Liturgy: Model of Prayer - Icon of Life that priests and seminarians do Lectio with the Liturgical texts. But here Theophan is recommending that same deliberate reading not only of the Scriptures, but of the spiritual writings of the great Eastern Fathers and Mothers (or Western for that matter). We must read their writings slowly, carefully, sometimes several times through in order to fully understand and "digest" what exactly it is they are saying to us, so that we can then take what they say and apply it to our lives.

His admonition, "So have ears and hear," is also quite interesting in this context. In the Scriptures, whenever someone is commanded to "listen" or says that they are "listening" or heard the words of another, it doesn't mean that they received sound waves through their eardrums and passively understood the meaning of those words. To "listen" or to "hear" in the Scriptures is an active listening whereby we understand and then act on the words of the other. In this sense, by ending his suggestions with the phrase, "So have ears...," St. Theophan has come full circle in his thought, encouraging us to an attentive and reflective listening that bears fruit through application in our lives.

But we see that Theophan also gives us a warning. Passively reading without applying what we read to our lives can actually harm us spiritually. If reading, like prayer, remains in the head and does not descend into the heart, transforming our lives and bringing us to deeper conversion and repentance, then it does nothing but build up new theories in our minds. We can be lead to believe that we have achieved higher levels of holiness than we actually have; and sadly we can be lead to focus on the spiritual failings of others instead of allowing working to improve our own lives and relationship with God. Later on St. Theophan warns:

It is easier to philosophize than to pray or pay attention to oneself. But since it is a work of the mind, which falls so easily into pride, it predisposes a man to self-esteem. It may altogether cool the desire for practical effort, and consequently hinder sound progress by flattering successfulness in this mental activity.


He concludes:

It is wrong to become too much attached to reading. It leads to no good and builds walls between the heart and God. It leads to the development of a harmful curiosity and sophistry.


So what can we conclude from what this great saint has to tell us? Well, it seems to me that we can conclude first, that in this time when we are so lacking in experienced spiritual guides, reading is good and we ought especially to read the writings of the great Fathers, Mothers, and mystics who have gone before us. Secondly, reading must be careful, deliberate, and above all practical. We read not to satisfy our curiosity, but to apply that which we have read to our lives. Thirdly, it is not necessary that we read extensively, as though we are preparing a doctoral dissertation. Such extensive reading, as Theophan points out, can be dangerous and lead to pride. Rather it is better to read just a few books, taking the teachings contained therein and applying them to ourselves as best we can, hopefully with the aid of someone more knowledgeable than us.

St. Theophan's teachings here serve particularly as a strong reminder to me personally. I know that at times I get way too caught up in my head with the various theories presented in what I read, and I tend to lose focus on deepening my relationship with God the Trinity. In the past, thanks to my loss of focus, I have said things to others in pride that I regret today. So these words from St. Theophan, I feel, are particularly poignant for me personally. I don't doubt that there are some of you out there who feel the same way.

May heaven consume us!

Books and Russians and Greeks! Oh My!

I seem to have a lot to say about books lately, so I figured I'd continue the trend. Books are a HUGE weakness for me. My wife will tell you all about it if you ask her. I have a boat load of theology books that have actually been extensively thinned as time passes and we move from one place to another. Apart from my theology books I also love reading/collecting books on psychology, history, tea, coffee, music (Irish and Chinese mostly, with a little theory thrown in for good measure), and other similar topics. I've even been known to trade my prayer ropes for books when circumstances (and the balance in my bank account) allow. So it always brings a smile to my face and warms my heart to read the fathers and what they have to say about books.

There are some interesting similarities in the recommended "reading lists" of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov and St. Theophan the Recluse. Neither of them really go into great detail as to who ought to be read in what order. But they both seem to agree that the writings of the great staretz, St. Basil of Poiana Marului, ought to be read and fully digested before turning to the magnus opus of Eastern spirituality, the Philokalia. Until recently the writings of St. Basil could only be found contained within a biography of the saint's great spiritual son, St. Paisy Velichkovsky. Now there is a handy little volume available from St. John of Kronstadt Press that is dedicated completely to St. Basil and his writings. This volume is important because St. Basil wrote introductions to a number of the Fathers in the Philokalia in order that their writings might be properly understood. The volume also contains a few other short writings by St. Basil that I, for one, cannot wait to read.

Apart from the writings of St. Basil, Sts. Ignatius and Theophan don't really go into too much detail as to who ought to be read next. But they do mention that the Russian Fathers ought to be read before we attempt to tackle the writings of the Greek Fathers in the Philokalia. This is in part, they say, because the Russian Fathers are so clear and concise in their presentation. It's also because they are closer to our times and culture, and were able to present the essential teachings of the Philokalia in a way that is easily graspable by we who live in times and places so different from the early Fathers.

With this in mind I wanted to offer, for your consideration, my own recommended reading list. I'll do my best to resist the temptation to make this an exhaustive list, and will therefore only post books that I think are essential.

1) Elder Basil of Poiana Marului: Spiritual Father of St. Paisy Velichkovsky
2) On the Prayer of Jesus - St. Ignatius Brianchaninov
3) The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology - compiled by Igumen Chariton of Valamo
4) The Path of Salvation: A Manual of Spiritual Transformation - St. Theophan the Recluse
5) The Spiritual Life and How to be Attuned to It - St. Theophan the Recluse
6) The Little Russian Philokalia - whichever volumes you can get your hands on. I recommend the volume containing the sayings and conversations of St. Seraphim of Sarov.
7) Writings from the Philokalia: On the Prayer of the Heart
8) The Philokalia - all four volumes.

I think as far as the writings of the Greek and Russian Fathers are concerned, these are the best places to start. I would also recommend some books by a few modern spiritual fathers. Particularly:

1) The Orthodox Way - Metropolitan Kallistos Ware
2) The Inner Kingdom - Metropolitan Kallistos Ware
3) The Prayer of the Heart - Fr. George Maloney
4) The Jesus Prayer - A Monk of the Eastern Church (aka Fr. Lev Gillet)
5) On the Invocation of the Holy Name - A Monk of the Eastern Church (aka Fr. Lev Gillet)

So these are just a few books that I strongly recommend. Obviously you don't have to read all of them. Just pick one that really speaks to you. My personal favorite that I believe everyone interested in Eastern spirituality in general, and the Jesus Prayer in particular, should own is The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology. It is primarily made up of selections from the writings of St. Theophan the Recluse (which is why I quote him so much), but it also has selections from other Greek and Russian Fathers as well. Check it out! Buy a copy! You won't be sorry. :)

Finding Our Spiritual Resources

I don't know about any of you, but I for one often look back on certain periods in Church history and marvel at the fact that there were so many great mystics and spiritual guides at pretty much every given moment in Church history except for ours. But this was not the view of those spiritual fathers and mothers in their own day. Many of the Church Fathers and spiritual writers of the East bemoan the lack of experienced spiritual guides in their day. They speak at length about the lapse among Christians in their times, and how few and far between are any real guides for those seeking their way in the spiritual life. The happy news is that these same spiritual fathers and writers then give us instructions for what to do when we cannot find such guides.

I hinted at this in my last post about books and the importance of reading the writings of the fathers, particularly important is the Philokalia, but there are a great many other writings from the Christian East that can serve to strengthen, renew, guide, and encourage each of us on our spiritual journey. One problem with books, however, is that they provide the same advice for everyone. A spiritual father/mother will taylor his advice according to the unique situation of every person that comes to him/her for guidance. But books give the same advice for all. The reader then needs to sift through the volumes upon volumes of advice and is left to determine on their own what advice is applicable to their situation. This can be tricky, not to mention very time-consuming.

Sometimes, however, we have to rethink what we understand the role of the spiritual father/mother to be. Some think that the spiritual father/mother will be a permanent fixture in the life of those seeking to grow spiritually. But this is not always the case. According to Met. Kallistos Ware in his lovely book The Inner Kingdom for some people, particularly monastics, the spiritual father/mother will be someone to with whom they meet every day, sometimes every hour. In some monastic communities it has so happened that the one seeking to grow will actually live with his/her spiritual father/mother for a greater or lesser amount of time before striking out on their own. Obviously for us living in the world this is far from being possible.

For those of us who are lucky enough to have a spiritual guide, we may find ourselves meeting with him/her once a week, once a month, or perhaps once a year. But what about those who do not have a fixed guide? What sort of options do we have if we cannot find someone who will be our guide either permanently or at least over an extended period of time?

Again Met. Kallistos mentions that for some people just meeting with a spiritual guide once in their lifetime and receiving a "word" from them is sufficient to set them firmly on the path to Christ. Such, I'd imagine, would be the case with many of the blessed people who were able to visit the likes of St. Seraphim of Sarov or St. Theophan the Recluse for a "word." One could also imagine that the folks who filmed The Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer would be pretty much set for life as far as spiritual guidance is concerned, having spoken at length with some of the remarkable spiritual elders of our own times. I myself have been blessed to speak briefly on occasion with some of the Roman Catholic spiritual elders currently living among us here in the U.S. One meeting in particular, a private conversation with Fr. Benedict Groeschell, pretty much changed everything for me at set me on a path that I have continued to follow since then. So we must not underestimate the power of one simple conversation, no matter how short or how long that conversation might be.

Also, we have our parish priests. They are, after all, our spiritual fathers in the parish. Perhaps they may not be able to guide us individually through weekly meetings the way we'd like, but we must not overlook the role that they play in our spiritual lives. They hear our confessions and see us (hopefully) on a weekly basis at the Divine Liturgy (or Mass, or Qurbono). They not only interact with us, but they interact with our fellow parishioners, with whom we also interact. They get many perspectives on us and can often offer little gems of spiritual guidance to us whether through the homily, or through private conversations, or through advice given during confession. In the absence of a spiritual guide, it is to our parish priests that we ought to be looking.

Finally Met. Kallistos, again, mentions spiritual brotherhood or sisterhood - what I've heard others refer to as spiritual friendships. We need to be sure and cultivate friendships with other like-minded people who are actively seeking their way in the spiritual life. Often times these friends may have advanced further than us in certain areas, and can offer us little tidbits of advice that will help us along the way. Perhaps listening to their struggles and how they overcame them can inspire us or give us fresh perspective on our own struggles. I've had a number of such friends, such spiritual brothers and sisters, who's words have remained with me for some years as a source of encouragement and inspiration in my own times of struggle. One of the beautiful things I encountered within the Catholic Charismatic Renewal was the idea of having an "accountability group." These groups met weekly and were a place for members to come and open up to each other, sharing the struggles and triumphs, asking for any advice, and requesting the prayers of the others in the group. Most often these groups were divided according to gender - men just understand the struggles peculiar to men better than women do, and women those peculiar to women better than men do. My own time among such groups was wonderful, and I wish I had that available to me at the moment. It is encouraging to see that there are others struggling through the same problems that you have struggled through or are currently struggling through. Accountability groups, therefore, can become a great source of strength for the journey.

So, we may be lacking today in experienced spiritual guides to lead us along the path to Christ, but we are certainly not lacking in other resources so long as we are willing to seek out such resources. I hope and pray that all of you will take advantage of all the resources available to you, books, friends, the fatherhood of our parish priests, etc., etc., etc. We are not alone in our spiritual struggles, but are surrounded by an army of co-strugglers. May we fight the good fight together.

Being Filled with the Holy Spirit

Another wonderful lecture from St. Mark's Coptic Orthodox Church in Fairfax, VA. Happy Sunday!

A Jesus Prayer

Here is a lecture that Metropolitan Kallistos (Ware) of Diokleia gave at St. Mark's Coptic Orthodox Church here in Fairfax, VA just last night. Met. Kallistos is always worth listening to, and this lecture is no exception. A blessed Sunday to you all.

ICXC + NIKA,
Phillip

How Blessed We Are

It just dawned on me how blessed we are to be living in the age we are living in. I realized that as recently as the times of St. Theophan the Recluse (19th Century) books were still fairly expensive and hard to come by. St. Theophan himself, when he refers in his writings to the Philokalia, isn't referring to the five volume collection (currently in four volumes in English) that most of us today think of, but is rather referring to a one volume compendium. This compendium exists today under the title Writings from the Philokalia: On the Prayer of the Heart. Incidentally, it is also this volume that the "Pilgrim" refers to in the Russian spiritual classic The Way of the Pilgrim. But today we not only have this compendium available, but the entire collection of the Philokalia (although the highly anticipated fifth volume is still being translated). Not only is this collection available, but it is also rather affordable. I bought my set from Barnes and Noble, a very common bookseller here in the U.S.

But there's more! We not only have the writings contained in the Philokalia virtually at our fingertips, but we also have the writings of many of the great mystics, East and West, easily accessible, whether they be in books or online.

So what's the moral of this story? If we do not take advantage of this easy accessibility, then it is our own fault, and I believe that we will be held accountable for this failure. I can almost guarantee that if the great saints of times past had such writings so easily accessible to them, they would've rejoiced greatly and gone to great lengths to obtain these writings and study them closely.

In today's atmosphere, where true spiritual masters are few and far between, the writings of the great mystics of East and West are often times our only guide on the spiritual journey. Anyone who doesn't take advantage of these guides is in danger of getting lost on the way.

Trinitarian vs. Christocentric

I have been hearing for some time now that Eastern liturgical piety is "Trinitarian," whereas Western liturgical piety is "Christocentric." We see this most blatantly illustrated in the numerous doxologies that conclude our prayers during the Divine Liturgy or Mass, and by extension our own private prayers contained in our prayer books as well. In the Byzantine East an example of such a concluding doxology would be:

"For You are good, O our God, and You love mankind and we send up glory to You, to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, both now and ever and unto ages of ages."


We can see here an explicit reference to the Trinity.

A common concluding doxology in the West is quite simply, "We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen." In private prayers it is not uncommon for some people to simply end their prayers, "In Jesus' name. Amen," or to use the same formula as is so often repeated at the Mass.

Sadly I've sometimes heard this as an accusation that this shows the West's deficiency in Trinitarian thought and piety. This is just plain nonsense. Fr. Robert Taft has pointed out in numerous places that one of the reasons the West takes such a "Christocentric" approach in its liturgical prayers is that the prayers themselves are old; in many cases they predate the Trinitarian controversies that led the Church to explicitly define its Trinitarian beliefs in the first few Ecumenical Councils. The cultural context of the West must also be taken into consideration. We have to remember that it was primarily in the East where the Trinitarian controversies shook the Church to its foundation. Theology in the West at that time was more "conservative" and not as focused on speculation as in the East.

But that's not really what this post is all about. While contemplating these differences last night, I realized that at the core both Eastern and Western spirituality have the same goal: deification/theosis, participation in the divine life of God. It seems to me that in the East the focus is on direct participation in the life of God itself, whereas in the West the focus is on participation in the life of God through participation in Christ. But, as Fr. Lev Gillet once pointed out, we must remember that the entire theology of the East is contained also in the theology of the West, and the entire theology of the West is contained in the theology of the East. If the emphasis in the East is on direct participation in the life of the Trinity itself, that does not mean that somehow the East believes such a participation is possible apart from participation in Christ. Similarly, if the West's emphasis is on participation in Christ, that does not mean that the West "limits" itself only to participation in Christ and does not believe that such participation is how participation in the Trinitarian life is possible.

Where one Person of the Trinity is, there are the others. Although each Person of the Trinity acts in a completely unique way as distinct persons, each one acts in cooperation with the others. Pope Benedict XVI once pointed out that when we receive Christ in the Eucharist there is a sense in which we receive the Father and the Holy Spirit as well.

In the East as well we see plenty of Christocentric mentalities. The Jesus Prayer, in its shortest forms, is almost exclusively centered on the Person of Christ - although in its longer forms it is said to be very Trinitarian as well. Likewise we have Akathists to Christ and to His holy Name. Our iconography is primarily Christocentric because it is Christ who took on flesh, thus elevating matter to the level of the divine. We typically do not portray the Father or the Holy Spirit in our iconography, although it has been known to happen.

In short, I believe it is important for us to remember that all prayer is meant to lead us to participation in the divine life of the Trinity through contemplation of the same Trinity dwelling within us by virtue of our baptism. But such a participation (such an indwelling) is made possible only by entering into the life of Christ through baptism, and participation in that life through ongoing repentance and conversion.

Cosmic Dimensions of the Jesus Prayer

In nearly all of my recent studies on the Jesus Prayer, there has been mention of the cosmic dimensions of the Prayer. This mention hasn't been merely in passing, but has been an actual in-depth meditation on the power of the Jesus Prayer to transform the Church and the world. Archbishop Joseph Raya, in his Byzantine Daily Worship, Fr. Lev Gillet (a.k.a. "A Monk of the Eastern Church") in his books The Jesus Prayer and On the Invocation of the Holy Name, and Fr. George Maloney in his book Prayer of the Heart: The Contemplative Tradition of the Christian East, all go into great detail about the cosmic and transformative nature of the Jesus Prayer.

How is it that this is the case? In the first place it is because invoking the name of Jesus means invoking his very presence both within us and in the world immediately around us. By invoking Christ's presence within us, we ourselves become progressively more transformed into the Divine "likeness" that was lost due to sin. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, in paragraph 2713, points out that communion with God, attentive awareness of his presence in our hearts, "conforms man, the image of God, 'to his likeness.'" As this transformation progresses our actions become the very actions of God through us in the world. In speaking of man's dependence on the grace of God, St. Theophan the Recluse says:

"When making a vow to live according to the will of God, for His glory, the penitent should say, 'Only do Thou strengthen me and confirm my resolve'; and from then on he must, as it were, place himself every minute in the hand of God, with the prayer, 'Do Thou Thyself perform within me what is pleasing to Thy will'. In this way, alike in consciousness and will and in actual fact, it is God who will be acting in us, both in what we desire and in what we do according to His good pleasure" (taken from The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology, pg. 134: emphasis mine).

So our loving attentiveness to the Beloved within us, an attentiveness begun and strengthened by our prayerful repetition of the Jesus Prayer, conforms us to God's likeness and then prompts us to go out and be "the arms, hands, legs, feet, and voice of Christ in the world," to paraphrase St. Teresa of Avila. Fr. George Maloney, a Russian Greek/Byzantine Catholic priest, says: 

"Jesus wishes to transfigure the whole world through us, by our humble actions in the world... By pronouncing the holy name of Jesus we release this transfiguring power. We call him into being to touch a world groaning in travail. We ask him to transform the universe, to make each human being, each part of God's creation into members of the Body of the Risen Lord. In such prayer, redemption is experienced as the process by which Jesus Lord transfigures the world through other loving human beings who allow him to have his redeeming way in them" (taken from Prayer of the Heart pg. 142).

This brings us to the second point, mentioned by Archbishop Raya in the Byzantine Daily Worship. All prayer, whether it's the private recitation of the Jesus Prayer, the Rule of the Theotokos, the rosary, etc., or the public worship of the Church in the Eucharistic Liturgy and the Liturgy of the Hours, makes the Kingdom of God present in this world. All created things are contained in this Kingdom because ultimately all things come from God and return to God. The cry Kyrie Eleison, "Lord, have mercy," introduces into this world the transforming presence of God into the world by making that presence conscious, respected and loved by those who repeat the prayer. The cry for mercy is not to be understood in a juridical manner, but in this manner of loving, transformative presence. It is a cry invoked for all of creation, as well as for all past, present and future generations.

But I believe St. Seraphim of Sarov best summed up this teachings in his now famous phrase, "Acquire the Spirit of Peace and a thousand around you will be saved." Through the prayer of the heart, especially the Jesus Prayer, we ourselves are transformed and transfigured. Through this transfiguration Christ in us increases while we, with all of our self-centeredness and selfish desires and impulses, decrease. The world then looks at us and sees Christ. By seeing Christ in us, may all come to give glory to God.

New Rosary

The following pictures are a rosary that was recently special ordered from me by a gentleman in New Mexico. He specifically requested that I tie a "Decima Cross" as the Cross at the beginning/end of the rosary. I found the idea very intriguing and appealing. You can be the judge of the results.

Prayer Rule of the Theotokos VI: Yet Another Variation

Following is yet another version of the Prayer Rule of the Theotokos. This one was devised by a friend of mine, a Ukrainian Greek Catholic deacon currently living in Florida. Unfortunately I wasn't able to simply upload his wonderful PDF version, in which he has some amazing icons to accompany each mystery. But this is still a great resource for anyone wanting to pray the Rule either privately or as a group.


EDIT: This version of the Rule was originally done by a Stanford Espedal and was found on the blog "The Rosemary Tree" at http://therosemarytree.blogspot.com/2009/01/rule-of-theotokos-byzantine-rosary.html .
Fr. Deacon Daniel Dozier then made a few minor changes of his own, adding tropars for each mystery as well as icons for private meditation (sadly not contained here).

The Rule of the Theotokos
A BYZANTINE RULE OF PRAYER

Rule of the Theotokos Introductory Prayers
IN THE NAME of the Father + and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. All: Amen. Glory to You, + our God, glory to You.
O heavenly King, Comforter, Spirit of Truth, who are everywhere present and filling all things; Treasury of Blessings and Giver of Life: come and dwell within us, cleanse us of all stain, and save our souls, O gracious Lord.

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Throughout Pascha, instead of Glory & O heavenly King, take the Paschal Troparion:
Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life. (3 times: Leader, others, all in unison)
From Ascension until Pentecost, after the Sign of the Cross, continue the customary beginning:
************************************************************ Holy God, + Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us. (3 times)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit: both now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
All-holy Trinity, have mercy on us. Lord, cleanse us from our sins. Master, pardon our iniquities. Holy God, visit and heal our infirmities for Your name’s sake.
Lord, have mercy. (3 times)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit: both now and ever, and unto the ages
of ages. Amen.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Leader: For Yours is the kingdom, and the power and the glory, of the Father + and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.
All: Amen.
Lord, have mercy. (12 times: Leader 6 times; others 6 times)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit: both now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Come, let us worship + and fall down before our King and God.
Come, let us worship + and fall down before Christ, our King and God.
Come, let us worship + and fall down before Christ Himself, our King and our God.
Psalm 50
Alternate by sentences between the leader and others.
HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to your great mercy; according to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out mine iniquity.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my iniquity, and my sin is ever before me.
Against you only have I sinned, and done evil in your sight; that thou mightest be justified in thy words, and prevail when thou art judged.
For behold, I was born in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.
For behold, you have loved truth; the unclear and hidden things of your wisdom you have made clear to me.
You shall sprinkle me with hyssop and I shall be clean; you shall wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.
You shall make me to hear joy and gladness; the bones which you have broken shall rejoice. Turn away your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of your salvation, and steady me with a guiding spirit.
Then will I teach transgressors your ways, and the ungodly shall be converted unto you.
Deliver me from blood-guiltiness O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare your praise.
For had you desired sacrifice, I would have given it; but you do not delight in burnt offerings. Sacrifices to God are a contrite spirit; a contrite and humble heart, O God, you will not despise. Do good O Lord, in your good will unto Zion; that the walls of Jerusalem may be built up.

Then you will be pleased with the sacrifice of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offerings; then shall they offer bullocks upon your altar.

************************************************************

During Bright Week, take the following Paschal Antiphon instead of Psalm 50.
Leader: Let God arise and let his enemies be scattered, and let them that hate him flee from before
his face.
All: Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life.
Leader: As smoke vanishes, so let them vanish; as wax melts before the fire.
All: Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs
bestowing life.
Leader: So let sinners perish at the presence of God, and let the righteous rejoice.
All: Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life.
Leader: This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
All: Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs
bestowing life.
Leader: Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit: both now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
All: Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life.

************************************************************

The Creed
I BELIEVE in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all ages: Light of Light, true God of true God, begotten not made, consubstantial with the Father, by whom all things were made.
Who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven, and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man.
He was also crucified for us under Pontius Pilate and suffered and was buried. 

And he rose again on the third day according to the Scriptures.
And he ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father.
And he shall come again with glory to judge the living and the dead, whose kingdom shall have no end.
And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of life, who proceeds from the Father: who together with the Father + and the Son is worshiped and glorified: who spoke by the prophets.
In one Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.
I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins.
I look for the resurrection of the dead.
And the life of the age to come.
Amen.
Prologue to the Decades
Say the Angelic Salutation 3 times (Leader, others, all in unison); then the following Theotokion once:
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen. Open unto us the gate of compassion,
O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People.

THE NATIVITY CYCLE
(Morning, or Mondays and Thursdays)

Nativity of the Theotokos
Your Nativity, O Mother of God, has made joy known to all the world, for from you dawned the Sun of Righteousness, Christ our God. He abolished the curse and gave the blessing; and by making death of no effect He bestowed on us eternal life.
- Troparion of the Feast of the Nativity of the Theotokos (Tone 4)
Let us remember the Birth of the Theotokos. Let us pray for mothers, fathers, and children.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

Presentation of the theotokos in the temple
The Savior’s pure temple, the precious bridal chamber and Virgin, the sacred treasury of the glory of God, is brought today into the house of the Lord; and with her she brings the grace of the divine Spirit. God’s angels sing in praise of her: She is indeed the heavenly dwelling place.
- Kontakion of the Feast of the Entrance of the Theotokos (Tone 4)
Let us remember the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Theotokos. Let us pray for those who have lost their way and fallen away from the Church.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

Annunciation of the Blessed Theotokos
Today is the crown of our salvation, and the unfolding of the eternal mystery; the Son of God becomes the Virgin’s Son, and Gabriel brings the good tidings of grace. With him let us also cry to the Mother of God: Rejoice, Full of grace! The Lord is with you.
- Troparion of the Feast of the Annunciation (Tone 4)
Let us remember the Annunciation of the Blessed Theotokos. Let us pray for the soothing of sorrows and the consolation of those who grieve.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

Visitation of Blessed Virgin to Righteous Elizabeth
As the full moon brightly reflects the light of the sun, you reflected the glory of the Messiah, the Light of wisdom! With Zachariah you walked in all of the Lord1s commandments, Elizabeth, beloved by God. So as we bless you with fitting songs, we praise the Lord, the bountiful Light, Who enlightens all.
- Kontakion of the Feast of St. Elizabeth (Tone 4)
Let us remember the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin to the Righteous Elizabeth. Let us pray for the reunion of the separated and for the protection of the unborn.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ
Your Nativity, O Christ our God, made the light of knowledge dawn on the world; through it, those who worshipped the stars were taught by a star to worship You, the Sun of Righteousness, and to know You, the Dawn from on high. Glory to You, O Lord.
- Troparion of the Feast of the Nativity of Jesus Christ (Tone 4)
Let us remember the Birth of Christ. Let us pray for the rebirth of souls; for new life in Christ.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

THE PASSION CYCLE
(Midday, or Tuesdays and Fridays)

The Presentation of Jesus Christ in the Temple
Rejoice, full of grace, Virgin Mother of God! From you, there dawned the Sun of Righteousness, Christ our God, who enlightens those who dwell in darkness. And you, O righteous Elder, be glad! You received in your embrace the Liberator of our souls, who grants us resurrection.
- Troparion of the Feast of the Presentation of Jesus Christ in the Temple (Tone 1)
Let us remember the Meeting of the Lord, and the words of Saint Simeon to the Theotokos: "Yes, a sword shall pierce through your own soul also." Let us pray that the Theotokos will meet our souls at the hour of our death, arrange that we receive the Holy Mysteries with our last breath, and lead our souls through our birth into eternal life.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

Flight of the Holy Family into Egypt
See, the Lord is riding on a swift cloud and comes to Egypt; the idols of Egypt will tremble at his presence, and the heart of the Egyptians will melt within them”
- The Prophet Isaiah 19:1
Let us remember the Flight of the Theotokos with the Infant-God into Egypt. Let us pray that the Theotokos will help us avoid temptation in this life and deliver us from misfortunes.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

Jesus Christ Teaches
in the Temple At AGE Twelve
O All-wise and All-gracious Lord, Our Savior, Who enlightened all the ends of the world by the radiance of Your Coming, and Who called us into Your Holy Church through the promise of the inheritance of incorruptible and eternal good! Graciously look down on us...and forgive all our sins.
- Akathist to Our Sweetest Lord Jesus Christ
Let us remember the Three-day loss of the Boy Jesus in Jerusalem, and the sorrow of the Theotokos as she sought him. Let us pray, begging the Theotokos for the constant repetition of the Jesus Prayer.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

The Miracle at the Wedding in Cana
In Your indescribable graciousness and great goodness You came to Cana in Galilee, and blessed the marriage which took place there. Thus You made it clear that it is Your will that there should be lawful marriage and from it the procreation of children.
- Orthodox Rite of Crowning
Let us remember the Miracle performed in Cana of Galilee, when the Lord turned water into wine at the word of the Theotokos: "They have no wine." Let us ask the Theotokos - who is quick to hear - for help in our affairs and deliverance from need.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

The Crucifixion of OUR Lord Jesus Christ
Come, let us all sing the praises of Him who was crucified for us, For Mary said when she beheld Him upon the tree: Though You do endure the cross, You are my Son and my God!
- Kontakion for Holy and Great Friday
Let us remember the Theotokos standing by the Cross of the Lord, when grief pierced through her heart like a sword. Let us pray to the Theotokos for the strengthening of our souls and the banishment of despondency.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

THE RESURRECTION CYCLE
(Evening, or Wednesdays, Saturdays, and Sundays)

The Resurrection of OUR Lord Jesus Christ
Christ is risen from the dead, By death He conquered death, And to those in the graves He granted life!
- Troparion of Pascha
Let us remember the Resurrection of Christ, and ask the Theotokos in prayer to resurrect our souls and give us a new courage for spiritual feats. .
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

The ASCENSION of OUR Lord Jesus Christ
You ascended in glory, O Christ our God, giving joy to Your disciples by the promise of the Holy Spirit, and assuring them through your blessing that You are the Son of God, the Redeemer of the world.
- Troparion of Ascension
Let us remember the Ascension of Christ, at which the Theotokos was present. Let us pray and ask the Queen of Heaven to raise up our souls from earthly and worldly diversions, and direct them to striving for higher things.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

The DESCENT OF
THE HOLY SPIRIT AT PENTECOST
When the Most High came down and confused the tongues, He parted the nations. When He divided the tongues of fire, He called all to unity; thus with one voice we glorify the all- Holy Spirit.
- Kontakion of Pentecost
Let us remember the Descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles and the Theotokos. Let us pray: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me."

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

The DORMITION OF THE THEOTOKOS
In giving birth you retained your virginity, in falling asleep you did not abandon the world, O Mother of God, You passed into life, for you are the Mother of Life, and by your prayers you deliver our souls from death.
- Troparion of the Dormition
Let us remember the Dormition of the Blessed Theotokos, and ask for a peaceful and serene end.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

THE PROTECTION OF
THE THEOTOKOS, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
Let us run to the gracious and quiet haven. The fervent helper, ardent and eager to save all. Let us run to the Virgin's protection and hasten to repentance. The pure Theotokos grants us unfailing mercy She comes to help all, delivering her faithful servants from tribulations!
- Kontakion of Holy Protection
Let us remember the glory of the Theotokos, with which the Lord crowned her after she was taken up from earth to heaven. Let us pray to the Queen of Heaven not to abandon the faithful who are on earth, but to defend them from every evil, covering them with her protecting veil.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (All in unison)
HAIL, O Virgin Theotokos, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with you. Blessed art you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, for you have borne Jesus Christ, the Savior of our souls. (10x, antiphonally)
Glory to the Father + and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Open unto us the gate of compassion, O blessed Theotokos; hoping in you, we shall not fail; through you may we be delivered from adversities; for you are the salvation of the Christian People. (All in unison)

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Pater Noster "Beads"

I was also requested to make a set of "Pater Noster Beads" by the customer who requested the Decima Rosary Cross. In the following pictures you'll see the results. You'll notice that I made the Cross a "Decima" as well, so that the beads could be used both for the repetition of the "Our Father," as well as to pray a decade of the rosary.

The Pater Noster beads, from what I've been able to gather, originated in Ireland during the Middle Ages. They were a way for laymen to participate in the monastic life. In monasteries the entire Psalter (Book of Psalms) was read daily by the monks - it took some time for the monastics to develop a cycle of readings from the Psalms so that in some places the entire Psalter was recited weekly, whereas in other places it was recited monthly. For laymen the monks recommended that they simply recite the "Our Father" either 50 or 150 times (depending on who you talk to).

The Pater Noster beads were originally knotted cords, but over time the practice of using beads developed. I have read that they had anywhere from 10, to 50, to 150 knots or beads. Originally these knotted ropes contained no divider beads or knots, but over time people started adding dividers and praying the "Hail Mary" or "Glory be" on the dividers. Eventually the (Dominican) rosary developed - perhaps as an offshoot of the Pater Noster beads - and replaced the Pater Noster beads in popular piety. Incidentally the rosary also replaced the Pater Noster beads as a suitable replacement for the recitation of the Psalter or the Liturgy of the Hours.

The "Decima Rosary" Cross

A friend and faithful customer of mine - indeed one of my greatest supporters in this little ministry - took notice of the "Car Cross" that I had made and sent me a special request. The request was that I make a "Decima" Car Cross. This Cross has exactly 10 knots in it so that one can pray a decade of the rosary (or Prayer Rule of the Theotokos for that matter). In the photographs you'll see that I included a bead at the center of the Cross. This would be the "Our Father" bead. I don't believe it's actually necessary for the Decima rosary Cross, but I thought it'd be a nice touch.

Prayer Rule - The Arena - Ancient Faith Radio

Following is the first part in a six-part series that promises to be very good. It's only half an hour long, so it's perfect for while you're drinking your morning coffee or tea.

Prayer Rule - The Arena - Ancient Faith Radio

Let Us Attend: Prayer as Loving Attentiveness to God

God truly has a sense of humor. Many people receive inspiration, words of wisdom, strength for the journey, etc. during times set aside specifically for prayer. Some receive this comfort while praying in church or at Eucharistic Adoration, others while praying in front of their private icon corner or home altar. For me, such times of comfort and inspiration typically occur while I'm in the bathroom. When I first learned of my mother's diagnosis with cancer and the subsequent prognosis, the grace to accept the harsh reality came suddenly while I was standing in front of a urinal. Inspiration has suddenly hit me while in the shower. More often than not it hits me while on the toilet. This is probably in part because I do a great deal of reading while on the toilet. With a three year old special-needs daughter and a six month old son, potty breaks are often the only quiet alone time I get during the day, and hence the only time for some brief reading and reflection - unless I'm awake ridiculously late like tonight.

Lately I've been struggling with mental exhaustion. With everything going on throughout my day even vocal prayer at some point just starts to sound like so much more noise in my mind; another thought among a legion of thoughts battling for my attention. I feel I can't pray vocal prayer any more because I just need a bit of quiet time, both exterior and interior. My wife and I often get this way with our relationship every now and then. Sometimes one of us will have had a particularly trying day where the kids have been making tons of noise, the phone has been ringing off the hook, the fire trucks and ambulances have been screaming up and down the road all day, etc., etc., etc. Then one of us comes home from work and wants to talk, talk, talk. With all the other noise that has been going on any further conversation is simply additional noise. How often have married couples said to one another, "Honey, I love you and I want to talk about this, but I really just need quiet right now." I know my wife and I have said that to each other many times. I also remember hearing my mom say it from time to time, if not to my dad, then to my siblings and I.

The same can hold true with our prayer life. Ceasing vocal prayer for a brief time doesn't mean ceasing prayer, just as spousal love hasn't ceased simply because a couple has taken a brief reprise from verbal communication. Prayer is ultimately a loving and attentive presence. We are present to God and He is present to us. A French farmer in Ars during the days of St. John Vianney was once asked what he did during all those hours he spent praying in church. "Nothing," he said, "I look at Him and He looks at me." How profound is the child-like faith of such humble people!

What sparked all this thought, however, was something I read (while on the toilet) from St. Theophan the Recluse. "If the mind becomes exhausted by saying the words of the prayer, then pray without words, bowing down before the Lord inwardly in your heart and giving yourself to Him. This is true prayer. Words are only prayer's expression and are always weaker in God's eyes than prayer itself" (emphasis mine).

This seems so totally obvious, and yet many of us, myself included, miss it. Prayer isn't merely a mental repetition of a formula that we have memorized. True prayer is a loving presence; the Lover being attentive to His beloved, and the beloved being attentive to his Lover. Vocal prayer arises out of that attentiveness to the Lover.

So the next time you're at prayer and you feel you've had enough and just need to "turn off your brain" for awhile, don't feel bad if you can't complete your vocal prayers, your established rule. Simply sit in silence, in God's presence, focusing your attention on Him Who loves you more than is fathomable.

Logismoi: Thoughts about Thoughts

In studying and contemplating Eastern Christian spirituality, one of the most confusing concepts for me has been the whole issue with "logismoi," commonly translated simply as "thoughts." Studying the Desert and other Eastern Fathers, it will not be long before one reads about this. In fact, most basic introductory texts and lectures on Eastern spirituality speak about "thoughts." Why? Quite simply because it is not possible to achieve hesychia/inner stillness without first calming our "thoughts." But what do the Fathers mean when they refer to logismoi/thoughts?

In my own reading and studying I have come across several different comments on thoughts. Some people consider thoughts to be that constant interior commentary or dialogue that goes on within us from the moment we wake up in the morning. Others consider thoughts to be basically an interior television show where images and scenes come and go within our minds, causing us all sorts of distractions. On another level some consider thoughts to be that basic gut reaction we have when faced with certain situations, persons, conversations, places, etc., etc., etc.

In reality logismoi seems to refer to all of these things, not just our mind's dialogue/commentary on our day-to-day lives. Logismoi, it must be said, are not always bad, and certainly not always evil. Some thoughts actually draw us up into contemplation of God, or rather, draw us down within our hearts where there we contemplate the indwelling Trinity. Logismoi/thoughts, when properly controlled, have lead to the production of beautiful works of art such as the iconography we encounter in our parishes, Michelangelo's ceiling painting in the Sistine Chapel or his amazing statues in St. John Lateran's basilica in Rome, etc., as well as monumental works of theology such as the Summa Theologica and the Philokalia, and various musical masterpieces.

Western spirituality, in general, has put a great deal of emphasis on this positive aspect of logismoi. In his Spiritual Exercises St. Ignatius of Loyola encourages beginners at prayer to read the Scriptures and imagine that they are there, seeing what the crowds saw, hearing what they heard, tasting what they tasted, etc., etc., etc. St. Teresa of Avila also encourages such meditations in her writings. But two things must be pointed out here. First all the saints, both East and West, who speak of using logismoi in this way are adamant that this is a method for beginners. As such it is not indispensable, and it is also something that we must grow beyond with the help of God's grace and our spiritual director's guidance. Secondly this is not the sole tradition of the Roman/Latin West. In fact, there is also a very strong emphasis among Western mystics on a more "apophatic" or imageless form of prayer and meditation. St. John of the Cross's Dark Night of the Soul is possibly the first example that will jump into everyone's mind. Similarly, this positive use of logismoi can be found in the writings of the great Eastern mystics as well. According to Met. Kallistos Ware the writings of pseudo-Makarios encourage such methods of meditation. Again, however, it is also stressed that his is a method for beginners that one outgrows as one advances in prayer.

We could go on and on in our discussion about logismoi/thoughts, but I wanted to present for your consideration some of the common negative thoughts that jump into the minds of us busy folks throughout the day. In my own personal experience there have been three basic or common classifications of negative "thoughts" that jostle about in our minds. First is the "gut reaction," then there is the "what if," followed by its close relative "I wish that."

"Gut reaction" logismoi are probably the most common, and seem to arise out of our subconscious. For the most part we cannot explain the reaction; it usually just happens without our thinking about it. That anger we feel when our husbands (supposedly with malicious intent) so carelessly leave the toilet seat up, or forget to take the trash out. Or how about the anger we may feel when our wife didn't cook dinner for us, or let the dishes pile up a mile high, or didn't vacuum. These are some very common examples of logismoi that the majority of married couples experience at some point throughout their married lives. In fact, I'd say if you haven't experienced them yet, then you're either an extremely holy person, or you're still in the honeymoon phase of your marriage and may be in for a rude awakening.

"What if" logismoi are also very common, and perhaps a daily occurrence for most of us. "What if I hadn't been fired?" "What if I took that job instead of the one I'm working at now?" "What if I'd become a nun/monk/priest instead of getting married?" "What if we hadn't had children?" "What if we could have children?" Usually we experience these types of thoughts when we are emotionally, psychologically and/or physically drained. It's the "grass is greener" mentality. These thoughts can be very dangerous because if we aren't careful to stifle them the moment they arise they can lead to the third common type of logismoi.

"I wish that" logismoi are the thoughts that come to us after we have fallen into the trap of the "what if" logismoi. These thoughts in particular lead to bitterness and resentment in nearly all our relationships. You can take any of the sentences in the last paragraph and replace "what if" with "I wish that" and you will clearly see the darkness into which such thoughts will lead us. "I wish I'd never gotten married." "I wish I'd never have taken this job." "I wish I'd never had children." etc., etc., etc.

The problem with both the "what if" and "I wish that" types of logismoi is that they are pure phantasy based only partially in reality, and they ultimately lead to bitterness, resentment, anger, hatred, and all the other vices. These thoughts are a refusal to live the life that God has given us. They are a refusal to take up our Cross and follow Christ daily in love. Ultimately we are saying "I wish this cross wasn't in front of me." "I wish I didn't have to carry this cross." Who among us isn't familiar with the bitter housewife going about her daily tasks with a scowl on her face? Who among us isn't familiar with the disgruntled 9 - 5 husband, father, employee who would rather he had never had a family rather than work a job he hates?

These are just some examples of the negative logismoi that bounce around in our minds throughout the day. But how do we still such thoughts? Well, the short answer is we don't. It is only through God's grace and mercy that our thoughts are stilled. But as Christians we are called to make the effort to still our thoughts. The more we make the effort, the more God will see our true desire that our thoughts be stilled in order that we might live in the "peace from on high." God will give each of us stillness in His own time and according to our efforts and desire. For some this will take years of struggle, for others it may only take days or even hours.

But what can we do on our part? First we can pray the Jesus Prayer or some other short prayer any time these thoughts arise, focusing all our attention on the prayer. Secondly we can choose not to react and not to engage such thoughts. In thinking of the story of the first sin in Genesis, the very first mistake that we see both Adam and Eve making is engaging the serpent when he tempts them. Eve engaged the serpent by talking to it, and Adam engaged it by contemplating what the serpent had to say instead of crying out to our Heavenly Father for deliverance from temptation. So when such negative thoughts arise, pray and then ignore the thought. The more you ignore it, the quicker it will pass.

Some saints actually recommend turning our negative thoughts into prayer, discussing the temptation with God and asking for His aid. "Lord, I don't know why I get so angry when my husband leaves the toilet seat up, but I do. Can you please help me? Help me to understand my anger. Help me not to presume that my husband did this maliciously. Help me not to blow up in his face the next time I see him." etc., etc., etc. I've found this technique quite helpful in confronting my own anger, gut reactions, and "what if" and "I wish that" moments.

Of course, probably the most helpful tools out there for combating these negative thoughts are frequent confession of our sins to a priest, and frequent reception of Communion. The more we confess our sins, the more likely we are to see our own sinfulness and not react when we encounter the sinfulness of others. Likewise, the more we receive Communion, the more we want to be prepared to receive Communion, therefore we battle against these thoughts and temptations.

Whatever tool or method we use to combat these thoughts, the struggle is life long. Even the saints battled thoughts. St. Therese of Lisieux, for example, struggled against thoughts of despair and presumption right up until her death. For me this is a great comfort. If the great saints had to struggle against their thoughts, and repent when they engaged those thoughts and ultimately fell into sin, then there's hope for me too. God, it seems to me, doesn't look so much at how often we fall. Rather He looks at how much we get up again after we fall and take up once more the combat against our fallen nature.